You Better Start Saving for Retirement or We Will Deprive This Puppy of Love


Saving for retirement is hard. When you have bills to pay and student debts to fulfill, planning for the future seems like an impossible task.

Yet you can’t put off planning for the future forever. If you do, you’ll end up working well past the retirement age, renting the same tiny apartment, and struggling to get by. That is why saving and planning for your retirement as soon as possible is one of the most important things you can do. Best of all, anyone can put money away, regardless of their income.

Sadly, most people under the age of 35 don’t pay any mind to their retirement or future savings. That is why we’re taking drastic measures to get you (yes, you) to stop slacking and start saving. Because if you don’t, we’re totally going to deprive this puppy of the unconditional love it needs.

Look at this puppy.

this puppy stops getting love if you don't save for retirement

His name is Brody, and he’s one of the most loved dogs in the world. His owners pamper him with all sorts of treats and gifts. They spend hours petting him, scratching him behind his ears, and playing fetch. Now imagine if all of that attention suddenly stopped.

Start saving for your retirement or we swear we will stop loving this dog.

this puppy stops getting love if you don't save for retirement

Look, we don’t really want to stop loving little Brody here, but we will if we absolutely have to. All you have to do is set up a 401k or IRA. Heck, buying low-cost exchange-traded funds through Robinhood is better than nothing. As long as you’re taking a portion of your earnings and putting it aside for the future, we’ll keep giving Brody the semi-conditional love he craves.

You really need to start saving now…or else.this puppy stops getting love if you don't save for retirement

The earlier you start saving, the earlier you can retire. By saving just 10% to 15% of your income right now, you’ll be able to afford every old person’s dreams: decent healthcare, a nice rocking chair, all the Werther’s you can handle, and so much more. If your employer matches your 401k contributions, you can save even more money during your working years. The alternative, of course, is working until your death with the shame and guilt of an unloved dog on your conscience.

You have 72 hours to comply.

this puppy stops getting love if you don't save for retirement

We’re done playing around. If you cannot put away $5 in an Acorns account or set up an IRA with Vanguard, this puppy will receive the essential food and vet visits for the rest of his life, but never again will he feel gentle scratches under his chin or a soft pat on the back. You know retirement is important, but now it’s time to act on it. After all, a dog’s emotional state hangs in the balance.


If you don’t know how to save for retirement, we’re here to help. Be sure to check out our guide here, and don’t forget to read all about the magic of 401ks and IRAs. You can also just email us or hit us up on Twitter and we’ll point you in the right direction. Just make sure you start now so you can retire as early as possible…and keep Brody happy.

(Editor’s Note: No, we’re not actually going to deprive Brody of love. Look at that face. How can you not love that face?)